Continuing the Journey

Gotcha Day…The Unabridged Version…

This morning, I felt ready. The gifts were ready for the officials, all the paperwork was in order, and Molly's toys were packed and ready to go.
The families started congregating in the lobby around 9:30AM…

...we tried making nervous conversation with each other to pass the time…

…and the big sisters played silly games, knowing their little brothers were coming soon.

The bus ride was quite short – maybe 10 minutes or less – and the tension on the bus was palpable when we pulled up in front of the Registration Office. When we stepped into the office, I immediately saw Molly on the other side of the room. I was so happy she was one of the first to arrive – the kids came in shifts from four different orphanages – and was very disappointed to see they had cut her hair short again. (I just knew the Megster would NOT be pleased!) She looked so scared and immediately clung to her caregiver…

…who did her best to coax Molly to come near us, that it was OK since we were Mama and Baba.
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think she was buying it! I sat on the floor, trying to stay at her eye level. We offered the gifts we had brought her…

…but she was still not convinced she should trust us. When we gave her the doll that Michelle (her foster sister) had sent, she immediately loved it. (Good call, Midge! She went straight to the doll’s pocket, looking for that red thread!) We offered the puppy, too, but she wasn’t as interested in that one.

The caregivers (there were two of them) tried to back off so she would come near us, but it just wasn’t helping. The one she was clearly the most attached to very quickly slipped out of the room. Molly was busy with her new toys and didn’t notice. When the second caregiver attempted to leave, Molly saw her and went running after her. The other officials in the room were laughing at her, but I was horrified. She was scared to death and begging them not to leave her. When Daddy blocked her way by holding the door shut with his foot, he got kicked and smacked.

After seeing that second caregiver leave the room, she ran back to our stuff, put the doll in the large shopping bag she had brought with her to the Registration Office, and marched toward the door. One of the officials was trying to explain to her that she couldn’t go out the door. She stopped running, but this is what we got…

…as she stood there staring at the exit door, tears streaming down her face, shopping bag in hand. We weren’t sure what was inside the bag but hoped it was some of the stuff we had sent in care packages, or the photo album we had sent at the very least. (Sadly, it was not. There were three bags of cookies and a small box of markers…that was it.)

Shortly after that picture was taken, she tried to make another break for it, then returned to strip off her dress in defiance. Poor thing…while parts of this may sound comical, I will tell you it was just heart-wrenching to watch. I sat on the floor, frozen in my spot, crying uncontrollably. Since she had made small gestures toward Daddy, he chased her around the room and did his best to try to connect with her somehow. But what could we do? My head knew that she was grieving, which is so important, and we needed to let her do it. But my heart was just breaking since I felt so personally responsible for her anguish.

Daddy was able to carry her to the bus without much fussing and she willingly sat in the seat next to him. I sat in the seat in front of them and tried to stay out of her line of vision. She seemed much more upset by my presence than by Daddy’s – maybe she saw me as the person who was trying to replace her beloved caregivers since I am a female, I don’t know – so I tried my best to allow him to make as much progress with her as he could. He did a FANTASTIC job! Within minutes, they went from this…

...to this...

...to this!

I felt like an utter failure that he was doing so much better than me…but quickly got over that since at least her attaching to him was helping her calm down. She and I would make progress later, when she felt more secure. I didn’t realize later would come so quickly.

We got off the bus at the photo shop to have family pictures taken for the official Adoption Registration and she reached to hold my hand. I was shocked and thoroughly relieved…

…to suddenly be seeing easy smiles and gestures of connection (like reaching to hold our hands when walking) so soon after the awful experience in the Registration Office! In fact, that picture above was probably 15 or 20 minutes after she stripped off her dress! Our travelmates were amazed at how comfortable she seemed to be with us all of a sudden.

Right after I took that picture of her smiling, she started pulling up her dress. Uh-oh, I thought, here we go again. Daddy said, “No, I think she has to go potty.” And she did…

…right there on the sidewalk in front of our entire travel group!! They all burst into laughter and she couldn’t figure out what was so funny. She finished her business, left her “mark” on the sidewalk in China…

…pulled up her underwear and started playing with Daddy. I guess low maintenance is a good thing, huh?! Yikes!

We are already seeing signs that gymnastics may be in Molly’s future. She will climb…well, pretty much anything that she can. And take a look at this technique…

…as she showed off her balancing skills to the travel group.

I took many more pictures today, but this post is getting crazy long so I’ll save ‘em for the next time. I will tell you that she is strong-willed, inquisitive, silly, and fiercely independent. She will eat whatever we put in front of her and is very willing to share food with both of us. She LOVES hair bows and barettes and adores looking at herself in the mirror. She goes to the bathroom CONSTANTLY (like every 45 minutes to an hour), which is a bit constricting – taking a walk is a challenge with that short of a timeframe – but hopefully, that will slow down as she gets more comfortable with us. (It seems as if she’s afraid she’ll have an accident.) She allowed us to change her clothes but will not give up her shoes. She loves carrying bags around, so the backpack and doggie purse we brought were a HUGE hit!

Since her morning was so traumatic, we decided not to chance upsetting her again by trying bathtime. She gladly put on her nightgown (with her shoes) and was easily convinced to get into the crib. (The larger beds seem to scare her and she will only sit at the foot of the bed, but not lie on the pillows.) She did finally take off her shoes and snuggled in with all of her babies around her. I put on the Chinese lullaby CD my friend Gina bought for Carson and within minutes she was fast asleep.

I’m exhausted – mentally and physically – and am heading to bed. Even though, overall, this trip is going very well and I’m thrilled to have my baby girl, I miss Meggie and Carson so much I can hardly stand it. Eleven more days without them…how will I make it?!

So I’m signing off for now, but not before I share pics of my beautiful children…

…the two I’m missing and the sweet angel sleeping ten feet away. Please continue to pray for Molly as she adjusts to the changes in her world...and for Daddy and I that we are able to effectively help her deal with her grieving.

Goodnight all!